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Friday, October 22, 2010

Revenge Syndicate of The New World Order

I had a problem. I was robbed. Well, my wife was. It was your classic grab and go
by a young hoodlum. I will leave the story dangling so as not to allow my vex to veer off into the details of the ordeal. I will simply make two definitive statements, which I expect will be accepted as truth; it IS my story.

OK, here they are: First, I knew who did it beyond all doubt, and better yet, I knew where he resided. Second, I needed swift retaliation and recovery of the lost funds, a revenge served piping hot. 

I needed to talk to the people in charge. Only THEY are powerful enough to aid my retribution. I should say, though, I am not speaking of the police or any government agency. I am not a rat. Besides, I needed action. I traveled to the new frontier, The Internet. It was only here in this dimension of disorder that I would find justice. Here I sought them out.

They are called Avengers. I couldn't say exactly where they were to be found, only that they were among the first inhabitants of the land which now supports billions, and among these masses they hide, lurking in Cyber Space. You must simply search for them.

Naturally, I was furious over the incident and eager to hear their doctrines of revenge. I would approach this dangerous group with the humility of a man who begs Don Corleon for a reprieve. They're tagged Avengers because that's exactly what they are, students of retribution. They strike fear without force. They bring destruction from a leather chair with the slightest movements of their index finger. They are a conglomerate of frustrated geniuses who resent the world for being too simple to entertain them and too shallow to understand them, yet still arrogant enough to mock them. It's a conclave brought about by the greed of this cocky world, the exact trait which irks these Avengers to no end.

From time to time, inexperienced ones will be exposed. They bring great apprehension to the mindless public, which labels them "hackers", a title as piercing as "terrorist" and more daunting than "communist". It is a handle they wear proudly, knowing they are the masters of this wild beast called the net.

I found them at their hangout, their spot, their club. On the web, these social settings are called forums or boards. Though not an actual location as we know it, its patrons are just as menacing as any ragtag group of hooligans to ever assemble at a neighborhood watering hole. I entered humbly, offering praises. I was full of contrition for the disrespect I had shown earlier in the decade, during my first visits to their land of organized confusion. I was unaware of the etiquette demanded in their boolean world, and my ignorance led to an awful heresy known as "leeching"( downloading files without sharing).

I felt it was best to be upfront with that information. It was in the past, and I suspected they would appreciate my candor. Besides, they knew anyway. They probably know everything I've ever done in that world. That's why they rule here, but make no mistake, Cyber-Space is no democracy, nor is it totalitarian. It's an anarchy, a place where you don't fuck with the wrong person.

My sincerity wasn't good enough. In not so many words, I was told, "Good Luck, but we can't help a leecher". They take leeching very seriously, very seriously. When spotted, offenders are usually either tormented with illness, known as a virus, or suspended indefinitely from their world. So much for honesty.

To be brief, I was upset, but still, I marched ahead using the instructions found in this group's extensive literature on the topic of vengeance. Barely scratching the surface of these resources, I handpicked a few tactics and executed them, and it worked! I had found great rapture in the art of investigation with intent to demolish!

Although I was shunned for my past offenses, I at least wanted to report my success and show gratitude. Below is my reply to these unforgiving masters of the future...(and present). (Yes, it was also an attempt to gain acceptance, naturally I want to be with the strongest swimmers when we are finally thrown completely into the digital sea.) Here it is:

To *******,

As the "newbie" who asked for assistance in executing a proper attack in the name of justice and compensation two days ago, I thank you solely for this special organization. This group, ***, as well as it's predecessors and relatives around the www have provided me with a wealth of resources, ideas, and inspiration to execute what is surely the most effective counter-strike in my history, without working up a sweat and with not so much as a broken nail.

I am proud to announce that just one day into my campaign, two-hours ago, I fielded a phone called from a gentleman who asked if I was responsible for putting his house up for sale, would I PLEASE take down the ad, and can I give him the number of the bank account in which he will surrender funds. That man was of course my mark (actually the person legally responsible for my true, underage mark). Apparently the girl scouts, the Marines and Jehovah's witnesses had yet to engage him. I almost feel bad, but that's when I picture the s^%$%@g running away with my wife's (my) money!

Clearly, it was not your typical Hayduke revenge. It was served hot off the grill and many of the commandments were blatantly broken. This was more of a Mel Gibson revenge, no time to cool off because they've got his son (usually). In my case, it was my overdue rent and my pride. Still, the tactics employed were those of TAH(The Handbook), Hayduke, Anarchist CB...etc.

This was from his original dismissal in response to my "leeching":
" I can not help but feel this atonement is simply your way of gaining back acceptance in your time of need."

Absolutely not. It's so much more ----I was thinking

"I take leeching as a rather serious offense. Without proper sharing, our great networks would be quite barren. If I we were to forgive these crimes with a simple apology, others would be encouraged to follow suit. "


I understand and, yet....

Is it impossible to right my past wrongs? Am I condemned in CyberSpace despite the strength of my contrition? Will no measure of penance warrant my amnesty?

If this is so, I am disheartened to say the least. I've found my frontier, albeit late; I am here in the wild west of the binary code armed with a six shooter. On horseback, I've galloped into town, and I'm being sneered at from every corner of the local tavern. Thing is, I'm not the Outlaw Josey Wales or any other cliche "stranger in town" who blows through and rides off. See, I love it here. I'd like to stick around. I burn to find my niche in the new reality.

I AM a newbie, yet I still feel I have the advantage over the moronic majority. Anyone over 30(not the elite group represented here,of course) didn't exactly grow up with the web; most are ignorant. Most use email, microsoft office, and facebook. period.

Even the "Internet babies" (20-under) rarely get past twittering and making themselves look like a cartoon. Again: "most of them". There is much more than these silly social games that invite every sociopath with working fingers to thoroughly stalk you with an efficiency that would freak out Max Cady himself!

No, I see a new world where money no longer exists, only 1' and 0's. The proverbial suitcase full of cash is reduced to a magnetic stripe which fits on your key chain. I can see Tony Montana crying.(Remember how they got him?)

I see a world where the smartest of us rule. No more simpletons who look good on Television or politicians who get to the top through artful deception and hollow promises. Perhaps,the mindless bureaucrats,aristocrats,and hippocrates will still be propped up to BS the cattle, but make no mistake, You are the ones who will rule!

The PLA, Avengers, hackers,whatever...The wicked, terrorizing anarchists, who decided there was something to that C64 when the rest of us wallowed in archaic seas of Atari and Coleco Vision, who listened to that mime selling apple computers and sailed to the new land known as the Internet. These dot com pioneers are this century's Knights of Templar, soon to be the illuminati of the new millenium. They are vilified in the media by the same paper tigers who court them behind closed doors, begging for their protection.

In the new world, hackers are the security experts. Those on the front page for fraudulent actions of the worst kind are also on the front line when it comes to defending them from their own monstrous creation, built out of greed.

There is no superpower on Earth that can stop this force majeure, this marvelous
monstrosity. This is our Dr. Manhattan transcending even Nuclear attack.

I see it. I'm actually quite astonished at how the masses can be kept at bay with only the most rudimentary of rules and guidelines enforced mainly by threats and hyperbole. You CAN get busted, but more often than not, it is fear that keeps the order. Petty crimes are free, with only the dumbest getting pinched (and I mean dumb). Social networking and gossips shepard the rest of the cattle. I think of the Zombies films where fireworks are set off in the sky to immobilize the curious, pea brained sloths. Classic! All the knowledge man has collected since the first historical recording of ancient civilizations is a click away, yet facebook remains King! (Plato rolls over.)

For the independent thinkers, who realize that our laws are devised by imbeciles and villians set into action, in most cases, either as a favor to a contributor or as a moronic, knee-jerk reaction to their own colossal failures (usually purposely exposed in some scandalous way). For us, there lies an array of victimless crimes waiting to be enjoyed.

And still my past forbids my acceptance in this new land? Kindly reconsider, friend. Walter is dead, only Rorshack remains.

You are the keystone of this century, the new military and the new rebellion, the new police and the new criminal,. You are the heads of the syndicates and the directors of Central Intelligence and Federal Investigations.
The Yin and Yang. "They can't handle the Truth."

So, there it goes. They always watch, they love revenge in all flavors, they thrive on mayhem, they are extremely intelligent and polite(to each other), they have no boss. cilck here if you dare, I can't guarantee they're still there...........................

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- Professor Plume

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