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Understanding Plume / Quotes

When I was 31, in Daytona (right around Jesus' time and everyone of these guys, like Buddha, they were all around 31-35) My ex-girlfriend left me for a week or two and I was sad. I was also depressed from life, JUST LIKE EVERYONE is, in some way. So, I remember seeing somewhere that comedian Drew Carey was in a depression in college and swears by self help books. Well, I'm a big fan of Drew, and it obviously worked for him, so I figured I'd give it a shot.

So I went to the bookstore and stared at the self help section for an hour, reading the backs of books. I was careful not to go with someone overly religious, which to me meant the silly Bible stuff which I knew all about, but I also didn't want Dr. Phil. I've experienced that game also. I left with a dude named Guy Finley, a Beverly Hills brat, turned successful songwriter, turned spiritual seeker. (A very similar story to the Buddha, coincidentally.)

He was great from the first chapter. I had never read anything like that before. The way he spoke about things made me see things differently. I was hooked and so excited; I went to another book of his to his teacher, Vernon Howard. At first I was skeptical of them, because I had been trained to beware cults and shit, plus I'm a New Yorker, cynical. But I saw that they wasn't preaching their own religion at all. They backed everything up with text from all religions. I later found out that they studied Christian mysticism, Hindu/Buddhism, and Jungian psychology (which I want to check out, myself. It really doesn't matter because it all leads to one truth.

From there, I dove into books on metaphysics and meditation; then I read Hindu scripture and then  landed on Zen Buddhism when I started going to different zendos and trying to meditate. The following 4 years, during two tumultuous relationships, my life was filled with loss as both ended in infidelity and heartache. In addition, I lost a career job with the phone company, filed for bankruptcy, failed on a subsequent business venture and was even robbed. All of these things would've killed me had I not been open to those teachings. Of course, I would still fall off, saying, "Why me God?" Those years were up and down, but I was always somewhat grounded. I just had to learn to quiet my mind.

Anyway, I moved to NY, where I was reading, trying to meditate, and just happy. I met my wife and everything was wonderful. we married quickly and lived for one year before she finally fell apart. She made up false accusations against me, sent me to jail and, worse, committed some pretty vile acts in the meantime. I know you are thinking, "How could someone do that." So did I. It turns out she suffered from Borderline personality Disorder, and in fact, there is documentation of it here. I was (and are being) dragged through the court system on nothing but her word. That's a whole other issue. The point is that I lost everything. I was only allowed access to my belonging for 10 minutes, escorted by police. I grabbed everything I could in one trip and my cat.

I came home and told my brother-in-law about the situation, about how I cried at first, which I did, but I was feeling better, more calm, and at that moment. I SWEAR. A hawk hits the window, lands on the sill and stares at me for about 30 seconds. When it flew away, (just as we were taking the damn picture!), I knew. When I awoke the next day, I had no fear. I spent every morning in  walking meditation. I recorded some of my walks on my phone. I was realizing some cool shit. They say it takes a crisis to reach these level. That's well known.

I know it is so hard to understand that God provides when you don't have anything, but you only think you don't. You are trying so hard to control everything. Do you remember the Noble Truths? (those I copied from wiki) We have expectations of things. Maybe you are meant to have exactly what you have right now. 

Quotes by Yo Dali Mama

"When you are lost in thought, you are away from home."

“ If you want to know God, study you.”

"All enlightened ones are teachers. They have to be. How could someone sit in this world of dysfunction fully awake? That would be like sitting by an intersection where the stop sign has fallen over and nonchalantly watching accidents occur all day, many fatal, without picking your nose up from a book." 

"The reason everything is gonna be fine is that I know it is."  

"Give up everything you have, and you'll have everything you will ever need."

Tips for the self-righteous - “You won’t find God by looking down on me.”
“When you find the lesson in an ugly situation, you will also find the beauty.”

“You will always do what you enjoy if you always enjoy what you do.”

Questions from Plume

Why is it that when we reminisce about our past, we always remember the good times? 
How does God get away with causing us so much suffering, while the Devil is vilified for showering us with gifts?? When God curses us, we say he loves us and is TESTING us, but when the Devil blesses us, we say it is hatred and he's TEMPTING us (for our soul).     (The Professor chuckles every time he repeats that one.)
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