FaceBook Rant On The War Against The American Smoker

Friday, September 3, 2010

FaceBook Rant On The War Against The American Smoker

I advise everybody to quit smoking, but why this war on smokers all of a sudden?? First we can't smoke anywhere, not even the top row of a baseball stadium! (Go watch some old TV, 30 years ago. They were smoking in the barber's chair, on a plane, in a courtroom, on the floor of congress...

Now we pay a few hundredbucks on a nice dinner for two with a smooth bottle of wine, and we have to huddle outside like fucking lepers just to catch a smoke before coffee. (God forbid we enjoy it WITH our coffee!!) That's because the "pure, angelic" non-smokers, who are probably obese or anti-hygenic, might be offended, or perhaps the wicked second hand smoke is going to cut through the thousands of other lethal chemicals traveling throughout our respitory system every minute and kill their baby. (who incidently is the fucking person who need not be in the establishment. Call me crazy but I'll take a dude lighting up a butt over a screaming kid any day!!)

Not to mention, here in NY it's like 10 bucks a pack. Sure! The states are going to Hell in a hand basket so they ask, "Where are we gonna find some extra revenue? Oh, I got it! Tax the smokers! Fuck them!"

How quickly we've forgotten that back in the 1600's, a handful of religious freaks and greedy maniacs traveled to this new land, with no knowledge of the soil and surviving starvation only thanks to the Indians' need for their weapons.

Still, they were dying of disease, running low on resources, and wearing out their welcome with the natives quickly. They had no reinforcements from the motherland. They were left for dead, actually turning cannibal, but they suvived thanks to a couple of money-hungry snakes who had there own little side plan.

They brought TOBACCO SEEDS, rare shit fom Spain or something! The plants grew beautifully and became the cash crop of our great country!! The first US city, Jamestown, was built on fucking tobacco fields!!!

Tobacco saved this country!!!! It raised this country. Every single man who had a hand in designing it, from the aristocrats who wore wigs and signed shit with fountain pens to the peasants to the slaves....SMOKED TOBACCO!

How quickly we forget!!!!!!

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Thanks for reading that. Please add some comments, give an opinion, ask questions, disagree. I would love a healthy discussion on this, not to find a winner in this debate, but to find the truth.

- Professor Plume

Science and Metaphysics

Metaphysics is described by Wikipedia as a branch of philosophy concerned with explaining the fundamental nature of being and the world. It is concerned with the truth about our existence.

Since the days of Aristotle, philosophers have tried to figure things out, guided mostly by laws of mathematics, until the late 1700's, when science jumped on to the scene. Metaphysics, the study of God, of reality, of truth, is the direct anscestor of modern science.

Distinguished head of the Sarcastic Order of Metaphysicists, Prof. Frank Plume, calls science "the discovery of God’s principles."

Emails From Mom:

Plume's mother recently told him that she is suspicious, or as she put it, exhibiting the great sarcasm you would expect from the person who bore El Sarcasmo himself, she "wonders" how he can afford certain things without slaving away at a full time job and without giving half of his earnings to the government.

It is also interesting to note that she finds no problem with Barack Obama sliding into Harvard, five years removed from a "C" average at Columbia, becoming the First Black President of the Harvard Law Review in only one year, then being "helped" along with his political career by a friend he "met" in college, to the tune of millions, all the way to the White House, where he becomes the first black president, a beloved champion for the common man who even sings Al Green, just in time to relieve the Bush outrage and put the dastardly acts of and surrounding 9/11.

There's nothing like family.

Shonn Frank PhD

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Friday, September 3, 2010