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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Some Words About My Friends....

Two years ago, my friend, Thomas Gilmartin, passed away. It was solid evidence to back up Billie Joel's claim: "Good Die Young". He died relatively young and, assuming that a man whose mere presence can make the devil crack a smile isn't bad, I'd call him good. Good enough to have a stone monument placed right in front of his church, St.Francis of Rome, in the Bronx. I'm pretty sure they don't do that for everyone, but for "Gil", it was the least they could do. This is no exaggeration or a case of selective memory, actually, words are too frail to describe what Tommy brought to the table. Trust me.

Well, two days ago this demented helter-skelter, known as life, shanghaied another kindred spirit in his hayday. Doug Teagarden, the poster-boy for unconditional friendship, was erased from my inner circle and now it's getting ridiculous. It's also getting too close to home.

Doug was more religious than most, I'd say. I know he wasn't afraid when his number was called. He was probably sad for those who loved him, because he was considerate, but I'm sure he walked into heaven with a smile.

You know, God, "You couldn't leave him with us for another blink of your infinite eye? What sort of twisted policies are in place up there, exactly? Let me guess......another f--king test!?Everything's a god damn test, huh?(no pun intended)"

Seriously, though, am I the only one who's had it with these sadistic, "mysterious" ways? They're too damn mysterious. Don't get me wrong; I'm a staunch advocate of faith. I even have it inked into my skin, right on my shoulder; it says "Have Faith". (as in salvation, not a tribute to George Michael.), except, I was 18 year old infant when I got that tatoo. At that time, my experiences were saturated with the study(and guilt) of catechism, and my eyes were still adjusting to the harmful rays of life.

I had always figured goodness would shield us from harm, judging from the verbage of the Good Book, I mean. God is pretty straight-forward when it comes to his expectations of us. He's very big on sincerity, compassion, kindness, charity, friendship and all those other qualities that I now realize will get you killed....mysteriously.

Surely, these baffling deeds are meant to teach us a lesson, right? There's always a lesson. Every f--ked up situation has one. Every severe trauma, loss, illness, plague, problem, shame, regret, tragedy, curse, red-light, papercut.....they all have a purpose; they were all meant to be. That's what I'm supposed to believe. But I think it's pretty obvious.

God hordes the cool people for Himself and leaves us with the assholes. He's a cheater who abuses his power for his own pleasure. He's selfish and inconsiderate.

I think he needs to stop making us in his own image and use Doug and Gil as prototypes.

Love you, bro!


( The use of the male pronoun to identify the Lord is simply a grammatical decision and in no way suggests the dude's gender.)

2 Please add your thoughts to the discussion.:

kris said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I know you guys were close. Good way to put it. If we don't die young, in some "mysterious way" or in a car accident or get shot...we all just die of cancer.
Nothing can happen more beautiful than death- Walt Whitman

sean f schiraldi said...

Thanks,Kris. Walt Whitman is great, nice quote.

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